The Good, The Bad, The Ugly

The Good: Our boys have come such a long way in the last 6 months. Last night we went to dinner with some of our friends we don't' get to see very often (it had been 3 months)- they couldn't believe how much the boys have grown. We then had a slide show and a lot of the pictures had the boys in them- OH MY WORD they have gotten so much bigger and different. I looked at the pictures of Drimus- a two year old little boy, with very small and unclear vocabulary, lost and with few smiles and then I think of my almost 3 year old Drimus who is now the chatter box of the family, who loves to sing, "shake his booty"(Taran gets full credit for that), fully potty trained (I'll take full credit for that jk), the most compassionate big brother and he has one of the most creative minds and LOVES to make believe (this to me is a huge success since they would look at toys and not even pretend they made a sound or did anything). Drimus will be our tour guide of our "zoo" Giraffes in the hall bathroom, zebra's in the first bedroom, bears in their room and always a lion or tiger on our bed (in a pin of course)- he will make the noises of the animals (Giraffes he PRETENDS to spit - took us a while to teach him to pretend to spit) and when the lion roars all of us run out of our room in pretend fear (although sometimes Demetrious acts to well and I think forgets what he is really running from). I can tell Drimus what to do and he knows exactly what I am saying and follows directions pretty well. I am SO proud of his progress and the life he has had for the last 6 months.
Demetrious, our 1 year old, angry at the world, pacifier, ear ring, not talking son (AT ALL) 6 months ago has also made tremendous strides. I do attribute a lot of our success with Demetrious to Drimus' success because watching big brother inspires a lot. Our battle of the pacifier was a hard fight but it opened so many doors. His words just took off the more we talked to him and the less he had the pacifier. He can make complete sentences and is just amazing. He also loves to sing, he LOVES to eat and knows what he wants, he is still extra spirited but the anger has subsided in so many ways. I used to put him in the pack and play and listen to him screaming just so mad - now we ask him to go in the other room and calm down- usually just us saying that is enough and the things he gets upset with are very little and often just one day after a visit do we even have an issue at all. He was a bully in the class, now he is polite and the teachers tell me what a sweet little boy he is (honestly something I never really expected to hear). He wouldn't allow me to ever put him down, he was my attachment- he is still my cuddle bud but he feels secure enough in himself to walk around and search the world on his own. I am AMAZED at the Good that has been done in the boys lives with just simple love.

The Bad: As the boys have gotten used to us and we claim the all the time now (we did before but sometimes I'd explain our situation- such as the airplane I explained we had only had them a month) it also opens room for embarrassment and for you to realize you aren't super mom or dad. Drimus and Demetrious have started truly mocking us (it is hilarious but we aren't always proud of what is being said that came straight out of our lips to their ears). The newest thing is play time out...this is when one of the boys will tell the other to go sit in time out, the other child will run over to time out and start crying- they will ham it up, then they will start playing in time out and you will hear the pretend parent say "face the wall" along with this saying comes a hand motion that I take full responsibility for but am not proud of that includes the pointer finger pointing to the wall. There is SO much attitude. THEN the child in time out will start crying and you will hear the pretend parent say "if you are going to cry go in your room in time out because I don't want to listen to you crying." Yep, that is our time out routine with a few of these things not being very common. They have me pegged, Drimus has realized that if he says something to me that I have said to him before he doesn't get in trouble. In fact a lot of times I apologize for saying it the way I did and explain to him that it doesn't sound very nice come out of a 2 years old mouth it probably doesn't sound very nice coming out of my mouth. Yesterday, in the car I wanted to teach the boys a new song (car time=sing time) so I started singing and Drimus yelled out "NO, I don't want to learn a new song, I want to sing ABC's" I said "no, I am going to finish my song " and I started back singing so Drimus looked over Demetrious and said "Metri, do you want to sing , we will just sing MY song ABC's" they then started sing as loud as they could over me singing my song- I then realized while they shouldn't interrupt we should maybe take turns singing songs (even though that was my plan I should have explained it). See its embarrassing all the things kids pick up from you.

The Ugly: There is nothing more ugly than the fact that these boys aren't legally ours. A horrible judge, a mom that wants to see her boys 2 hours a week at most (she is allowed 4), a society that allows children to go back to situations like the one they came from and the feeling of no REAL control over their future will make you sick. Its just ugly, our only hope is the ugly is just for now and the rest of their lives will not be ugly again.

I know the good is a testimony that God's love can overcome anything, the bad is testimony of how imperfect we are (not that I think you needed a testimony to see that) and the ugly is my insecurities of the future. Through it all I am confident that God is making all four of us better people and teaching us more than we could have ever imagined. God is good.