Um yeah i checked out for a while!

Well a lot has happened since the last time I wrote to you dear children so this will be long and filled with details! Zeke is currently sleeping and I have just decided to get on the computer while you guys play "Let's Go Fishing" ( i played 6 games before deciding I have had enough)! February/March Daddy got a job as the Family Pastor for First City Church, our family was/is so excited to finally get daddy off nights. We started packing the house and planning to move 10 days after Zeke was due not knowing when he'd truly be born. It was busy and crazy! You guys were excited about moving to Florida and near grandma and grandpa Bill! As time got closer for little Zeke to be born we were feeling him move less and less because my fluid was low compared to his size. We were told we'd probably need to induce at 39 weeks pregnant. As much as I hated the thought of being induced again I was happy to have a plan and with the move it made me more relaxed. Sweet Mimi came down to help and when I went in on Friday for my doctor apt my water broke while with Dr. Courtney Middleton so she sent us to the hospital. Before going straight to the hospital we stopped and got some lunch and took our time, we got to the hospital around 2:30, they started poticin to keep it going strong and at 9 cm I decided to get an epidural because my blood pressure was going crazy high during contractions and I was worried they'd end up doing a c-section, Zeke was actually born about 10 min later so I am not sure it had a lot of time to kick in. Aaron and Erin had taken the oldest 3 so mimi could come up to the hospital for a while, they went to Chic Fil A and had ice cream. Mimi had gotten to the parking lot before we called her to tell her Zeke was here so Mimi and Ellis, Everett and Zula along with Aaron and Erin got to watch his first weighing, bath, and see him just 15 min after he was born. It was such a God planned thing, I loved every minute of watching them watch Zeke. It was wonderful, Nonna and Papa came through the night (we never dreamed my delivery would be so short)! I was so ready to leave the hospital even though I only stayed until Sunday AM, everything was going well and my body was healing and I knew we had some packing and things to do and I had 3 other babies I desperatley wanted to be with.

The next 2 weeks went so quickly and the next thing I knew we were driving to Pensacola FL to live in a house we had never seen and start the next chapter of our lives.

Zula you have grown up a lot in the last 3 months, you LOVE, LOVE, LOVE your "baby zeke" and are super sweet to him. You have started getting spanked and put in time out (even once since I started typing this blog). It is adorable although your daddy cannot discipline you to save his life, you are just a cutie with lots of attitude. You are smart and understand more than we give you credit for but you are kind hearted.

Ellis you are an amazing big brother, you are loving Florida and getting to have daddy around more. You are full of life and kindness. You are a great helper and great son. Daddy and I are so proud of the little boy you are, we have used you as an example on how to behave for several children at church! You LOVE our teenagers and you think they all are here just to play with you!

Everett you are fun, you love Florida but HATE the heat. You are growing and becoming more and more hilarious every day. You are shy and would rather be around a small group of people and if anyone tries to talk to you you stick out your tongue and batt you eyes.

Big events:

New Zeke- you guys love him-Move to FL- New Church you boys call it "Mr. Freds church" and you LOVE Mr. Fred- New house which you love and crack me up in calling one room the "two tv room and the other the one tv room" - You have seen Nonna and Papa a whole lot since we moved and you have stayed at our house for 4 days with Nonna and Sherry you had a wonderful time while we were at the orange conference- You went to Nonna and Papa's house for a weekend and had a great time - You have also spent the night with Grandma and Grandpa- Ellis and Everett have learned how to swim without floaties and Zula does an amazing job with floaties- it helps that we go to the beach or aunt pam's and uncle Tracy's often...- We went to the Howell's for the family reunion and had a great time- Life is wonderful...I love being your mom and the move to FL has been awesome for our family!

Change in my use of the blog...

I am officially changing the blog into a recording device for my children, up until 2 months ago I kept a journal for each of my children, updating it once a week with all that happenings, hilarious sayings and their new accomplishments. I fell behind and with 4 books (pregnancy + 3) to update I wasn't doing a very good job nor was I enjoying it anymore- it got to be redundant and a big chore. I do think recording my thoughts, and fun things about their daily lives is important so here we go- this blog is officially for my children, something I will sometimes include all or one in. I hope every year to print off my entries and then mix them into there yearly scrapbooks (almost done with 2010's) and that way its a journal/scrapbook instead of having both ( i might even go to digital scrapbooking next year). Feel free to read or to ignore as your heart desires.

Baby boy: we are in the 60 day range of your birth! We are very excited about your arrival but so unprepared (in the words of your wise father, all we really need for a baby is diapers and mom). We officially decided on your nursery. Your name- well, we have officially decided that it will come to us when its suppose to (aka sometime before we leave the hospital). We do know whatever name you end up with will be perfectly you and just wonderful. We love watching you grow, your brothers are pretty pumped about your arrival but still can't get their heads around the fact that this is not a trade deal (it is something we explain daily, under their life circumstances and the timing of Zula we understand the fear of a trade). You according to the books are 4 lbs ish... we haven't seen you since 20 weeks, but we have heard your little fast heart. All 3 of your siblings and I went to our appointment December 28 and they loved listening to you. You are going to love our family, 2 big brothers, 1 big sister, a whole lot of love and laughter. We love you.

Zula: Since I last wrote you have had your very first Birthday! You enjoyed cake and more importantly your sweet big brothers enjoyed you sharing your birthday with them (they were great at helping you blow out your candles). We were in Pensacola Florida visiting Grandma and Grandpa Bill, we had a great time celebrating your life! You have also had your 2nd Christmas, it was amazingly different than your first. A very much needed intimate family Christmas with just our little family. You got a bike just like your big brothers, you love to go outside and sit on it while they ride all around you. You are very much aware of everything they are doing and you try to be just like them. You don't like it if I leave a room, even if you can hear me you are yelling "mama" it is cute (a little exhausting at times). You say "thank you" like a champ every time someone hands you something, you are a daddy's little girl through and through and if you get in trouble you walk back to daddy's door and yell for him. While you don't understand this at all now one day you'll also realize that your brothers are officially your brothers forever, although you have never known life without them. Your face lights up every time Ellis or Everett walk into the room and if you can hear them you are walking as quickly as you can to get to them. They love you so much, they are Zula protectors...I can't wait to see how you guys love and siblingship develops. You are just amazing and you learn so much, so quickly. We love you.

Everett: Our Dearest Forever Son, I want you to know you have been mine since the day God placed you in our lives (January 26, 2009). I have loved you, taken care of you, ached for you, dreamed for you, held you and prayed for you more than you will ever know. On December 21, 2010 a lot of my aches were taken away when the judge signed our paperwork to be your forever parents, Everett Thomas Howell. I could not have been a more proud mom. I know you will not remember that day and in almost every way nothing changed but at the same time it flipped our world upside down (in a great way). Words cannot describe the amount of peace that rushed over my body when the judge signed the papers, your dad and I cried and hugged you (you looked at us like we were crazy and we are). We then let you and Ellis choose where we'd go to eat to celebrate- you guys chose "waffles" which meant Waffle House. We were all giddy while eating and we had a great time celebrating our family.

We had a wonderful Christmas with just us 5 (a continuation of our celebration). Santa brought you a bike, you got to choose a part of our Christmas feast and you wanted bacon and eggs (you love breakfast foods). We all went out to watch you ride your bike and honk your horn, you laughed hysterically while buddy went CRAZY at the sound of your horn until Buddy got out of his fence. We had a blast playing with toys as you opened them- making the excitement of Christmas last all day long. We had a wonderful Christmas.

Things you should know about yourself at 3 1/2: you can say all the books of the Bible (this is VERY impressive), you love to color and have projects, you will do anything to get out of helping clean including get into trouble or go to the bathroom (we were making you sit in time out and Ellis would keep cleaning but we realized what you were doing so now you end up having to clean alone...it is working). You have recently gone through a little rebellious stage that included (this is all in one day) sharpie on the white carpet, sharpie on your pillowcase, getting a knife out to cut your play doh, playing with toilet paper (an entire roll), trying to start a dvd by yourself (broke a dvd), there is more to that day I just can't remember right now...but you get the idea (and you might be asking yourself "my goodness mother where were you during all this" the sharpie happened while changing Zula's diaper, play doh happened while on a phone call, toilet paper happened while I was going to the bathroom in the other restroom...). You are brilliant, you like to try to figure out how things work, you like to see how much you can get away with, you like to be yourself. We love you and think you are wonderful. We are so excited that we get to be your parents forever. We are also very excited that we were able to find baby pictures of you in the hospital at birth, they are such a treasure.

Ellis: Our Dearest Forever Son, Words cannot describe how proud we are to be your parents. We have loved you and cared for you like our child since the day God in trusted you in our care but the relief and joy we felt the day (December 21, 2010) the judge signed papers stating you would be our son forever is overwhelming. This is a day you will probably only have a faded memory of but I have to tell you it was a life changing moment that your father and I will never forget (feel free to ask us all about it)! Your dad and I cried and hugged you, I am pretty sure you thought we were crazy- although you give us a look like we are crazy often! As we left we let you and Everett choose where we'd go to eat, yall both agreed for a "waffle" which meant "Waffle House." Incase you don't remember this day I need you to know not only was this the day you became our Forever son this is also the day you and ate an entire All Star breakfast (yep at the age of 4, and yes you had already had breakfast)! You LOVE to eat, we are not sure where you put it since no matter how much you eat we can count all of your ribs. We loved celebrating our family that day, I think we will have to make a tradition out of going to Waffle House every December 21. You will never know how proud I am to be your mom and I hope you understand how there is nothing you could ever do that would make me stop loving you.

We had a wonderful Christmas with just our little family of 5! You got a HUGE bike from Santa that unfortunately was too big. The size did not stop you from riding all morning though. We took our time opening presents and playing with each toy to its fullest, we didn't open our last set of presents until 6 p.m. due to play breaks and eating breaks. You got to pick something you wanted for our Christmas feast- you picked salad (unprompted I might add, and this might be the reason we can still count all your ribs)! We ate steaks, salad, mushrooms, onions, and ice cream sandwiches for dessert. It was a wonderful, relaxing Christmas day.

Things you should know about yourself at 4: you love to tell Bible stories to your brother and sister, your favorite is Daniel in the Lions den, you often tell me that just like Daniel had angels you have had angels around you before- and I believe you, you are obsessed with having muscles and being strong, you can ride a bike that is WAY too big for you, you are in love with your baby sister and tend to her as much as her independent self will let you, you are hilarious and a whole lot like your daddy in the jokes you make and the facial expressions you make. We love being your parents, we love getting to tuck you in at night and get a big kiss from you and a hug. You are amazing and I am so thankful that I get to be your mom. We love you.

To you all:

Today January 7, 2011 a lot of hilarious things happened in our home (like most days) but I wanted to take a minute to record a few of our funnier moments:

1. This morning Everett and Zula woke up first and had breakfast with daddy. Daddy had given Everett and Zula a piece of cheese while he made the rest of breakfast and had put a piece of cheese on Ellis' seat for when he woke up (mommy was sleeping in- WOOT WOOT). As Ellis walked into the kitchen daddy told Ellis "go sit where the piece of cheese is" Everett's face lit up and asked "where is Jesus"... Everett laughed when he realized daddy said Cheese instead of Jesus

2. I have home video of this so please go and find it... Ellis and Everett were outside playing, Everett runs inside and says "Ellis is spanking me" Ellis runs in after Everett and says "I am not giving daddy spankings, I am giving mommy spankings which are just silly" I then proceeded to question the spankings that take place in our home. It was officially revealed that I don't spank hard enough.

3. Tonight at dinner Everett said "God is strong" Ellis said "yes, God is strong but Jesus isn't" Everett started arguing with Ellis on this matter, I interrupted and explained Jesus is strong Ellis responded "No, he is not strong because he let the people kill him" I explained that "Jesus could have beat the people up but He is so strong and mighty that he chose not to so he could save us" Ellis I will never forget your face and then you said so seriously "well, I am strong and if anyone ever tries to kill me them I'm going to beat them up" I tried my best not to crack up.

4. Zula find the home video of you and Ellis in the tub, the boys decided they don't like bath toys as long as I let them play with your hair- you love it and hate it all at the same time.

This week everyone has been sick, Everett has the flu, and the rest of us just have the crud. It has been one exhausting week for us all but I have enjoyed not going to anything but hanging out and holding you wonderful kids. I hate seeing you sick! Your dad has been amazing at letting me sleep in until almost noon every day since I have been up all night with you guys while he is at work. You guys love being with your daddy, I love watching you light up when you are with him. You have watched more tv in this last week than I think ever before- which really has been one viewing of Madacascar every single day. You both LOVE that movie! (Zula you aren't really into sitting still right now). We love you, you are wonderful!

2010 Blessed beyond belief!

December 21, 2010 Ellis Calvin Howell and Everett Thomas Howell became our official legal sons. They are just amazing, Ellis is so kind, silly, super smart, an amazing son and an amazing big brother. Everett is strong willed, goofy, shy, super smart, an amazing son and an amazing big and little brother. We loved being able to witness a 2nd year of them growing, maturing and becoming more secure in our and His love. We are SO blessed, on top of those HUGE blessings in our lives we got to watch our daughter Zula's first year of life.

Zula is a happy, pretty easy child, she knows what she wants and she intends to keep up fully with her brothers. This was a great first experience of a new baby for us, to see how much they change in a quick year is just a miracle in itself. The cherry on top of this amazing year is we are expecting our 4th child, it has been an angelic pregnancy! We enjoy each of our children so much and so differently it is a perfectly God formed family for sure.

Taran is a wonderful, loving, thoughtful husband, he provides for our family and allows me the gift of staying home with my children- words cannot describe how thankful I am for this experience. Taran is a hilarious and loving father and there is no one in the world that I'd rather be sharing this experience with- I am so thankful. Beyond our immediate family of 5 (soon to be 6) we have an amazing extended family, we have added 2 nephews and 2 nieces this year- for a grand total of 10 (with one more nephew due early 2011)! We have been blessed to serve with a church of believers who take spreading the love of Christ as a true mission.

Taran and I laugh at how boring our life would be if we had mapped it out ourselves. God definitely has a sense of humor and I am so glad He allows us to laugh with Him. We cannot wait to see what God has in store for us in 2011! God is good. Happy New Year to you!

HOORAY!

On Monday, October 25, 2010 just 1 day short of 22 months of having the two most precious boys in our home we signed adoption papers! Words cannot describe the joy we have, the overwhelming gift God has given us by allowing us to be Ellis and Everett's forever parents is amazing. This is a journey we felt God's presence during the whole time and although there were times we questioned His timing and the pain of innocent children but God's faithfulness was always there. To God be the glory.

2 Samuel 7:22 (one of my favorite verses from high school) "How great you are, O Sovereign Lord! There is no one like you, and there is no God but you, as we have heard with our own ears."

My kids are so cute...

Taran told me today that I have just totally turned into the mom who thinks everything their kids do, say, and think up is just SO cute...and well he is right. I'd like to think that I still don't think bad behavior is cute- but I am not going to lie sometimes I laugh at things I shouldn't. Having said all that I want to share some of those "ADORABLE" things my kids did today!

Today we ran into Publix to pick up some things I had volunteered to bring for the church carnival next weekend- one thing included candy. We have a few people we buy food for often and I explain that we buy their food because they don't have enough or we make the boys go through there toys to give to kids that don't have any. We try to teach the boys how to treat people like Jesus would so opportunities arise often... so we are buying candy and I explain to the boys that it wasn't for them. Ellis said "is this cause some kids don't have ANY candy? Because really I don't have any either" I thought it was hilarious.

Tonight at church a ex-friend of ours taught the boys to say "GO DAWGS" and "BOO ALABAMA" and got it all on video. You can see the boys know they are doing something mom and dad would not approve of and they are just laughing as they say it. So of course I am just in shock and really ham up that I can't believe they would BOO Alabama and how sad I am that they said Go Dawgs. Anyways on the way home (Mr. Eric was no longer around) Everett said "mom I don't really like mean dogs and I really do love Alabama" Ellis said "no Everett we DO love the Georgia Dawgs and we don't like Alabama" so they discuss this for a while and then I said "Ellis do you know that the Dawgs don't really know how to play football" and he said "mom- do you know that really no animals know how to play football...not even Elephants (Alabama has BIG AL the Elephant for those of you don't know)! Touche Ellis, touche.

Last but not least Zula has decided she think it is SO funny to throw her food on the ground (this is actually a milestone in the pediatrician's check list). She laughs so hard at herself with every drop. Taran and I have started spanking her hand and telling her no (she knows what NO means, if i say it she stops and looks at me no matter what she is doing). Well tonight she was happily throwing food on the ground when I spanked her little hand and told her no...she got out her pointer finger and started crying/anger babel and pointing at me. She was telling me off, I was thankful I couldn't understand. Lord give us strength when she has words to go with that attitude. (she actually did this more than once, she would tell me off and then throw more food on the ground all the while looking at me and laughing and then after the no came she started telling me off again!)

When the adoption is finalized...

Over the last 21 months Taran and I have often said... "once the adoption is finalized we will______" With being a possible 9 days away (PRAY,PRAY, PRAY) we have reflected on so many of those things and I thought I'd share how our life will be different:

2. if the boys have nightmares/get sick they can sleep in our bed
3. take a vacation out of state and tell no one (if no one knows where we are and we aren't answering our cell phones we are fine and dandy)
4. let our children be away from us for more than 2 hours w/o special permission (yep the longest we have left them in 21 months has been 2 hours EXCEPT when they went to daycare for 3 months, now they go to preschool (4 hours), court hearings and giving birth...never could do a dinner and a movie night)!
5. let our children spend the night away (we might make this a right of passage at age 5...we aren't totally sure we are ready for this step aside from foster care- with the exception of giving birth)
6. take a trip to another country- we have this all planned out except the date (we will have to wait on the passports)
7. take the boys to a non-Medicaid accepting pediatrician...this might not seem big but I LOVE zula's ped, Medicaid def doesn't offer the best for my sons!
8. hire a responsible teen to babysit our children. for our 2 hour needs of a babysitter they had to be OVER 21, CPR certified and approved
9. celebrate them being official Howell's with a huge party
10. allow other children to spend the night w/o their parents being here...yep cousin spend the night parties here we come! Owen couldn't spend the night unless his parents were here AND he couldn't sleep in their room!


OKAY YOU GET THE POINT...9 more days, 9 more days, 9 more days! We get to do all the aboved things and much more not listed-

Prayers of my 11 year old heart!

I recently found a prayer journal from when I was 11 we had just moved to Atlanta...these are the top 10 ones that I found funny and answered:

10. Learn to enjoy reading (had a hard time reading at this age- still hate reading out loud)

9. Fit in and love going to GACS (loved middle and high school)

8. Become an independent but Christ like woman (work in progress)

7. One day I'd get to spend holdiay's with a Kevin McDonald (he is my sister-in law's brother- I had a huge crush I am really not sure why I didn't pray to date or marry him but it actually said spend holidays- who knows)

6. One day I'd be rich (I am sure my 3 bedroom house would not have met my qualifications back then but it def does to me now- the roof alone makes me rich in my opinion)

5. I'd marry someone who wanted to have more children than what I want (oh yeah Taran has no limit and thinks our van is a good way to say we are maxed out...we'd have 6 kids by that van count)

4. Get to know what it feels like to be pregnant (one I actually didn't think would happen)

3. Be a mom to a prissy girl (I blame this prayer for Zula being so prissy... its cute at 8 months but I am praying this changes before 11)

2. One day to be a foster mom (yeah I knew this one would always happen just thought it was neat at 11 I prayed about it)

1. have bi-racial children (i just thought they were the most beautiful children... dated a few black boys hoping to make this one come true lol)

Taran and I have gotten a few laughs and insight on to my 11 year old self from my prayer journal- I have one from every year since 11 all with huge gaps of time missing but I am thankful for the reflection of how God has worked in my life for SO long.

My mother - in - law explained this verse to me a few times in different situations"Delight yourself in the LORD and He will give you the desires of your heart" Ps. 37:4 she believes that this isn't saying that God will give you what you Jessie Howell wants but that he will make sure your heart begins to have desires for things God has planned for your life...so maybe even way back then God was helping me become ready to be a mom to my amazing boys! Or maybe I got my boys because I have prayed for bi-racial children since I was 11. God is good all the time!